January 31st me was optimistic. This would be the best year of my life. I was savoring the new year with my fresh baby girl and my toddler.
We looked forward to family weddings and the dream vacation I’d spent years planning and saving for. I was feeling creative again after a long, hard pregnancy and I said a goal to write 12 blog articles this year. I accepted my first public speaking invitation. Who knew what blessings God had in store through these avenues.
We enjoyed the weddings and the most magical week at the (alleged) most magical place on earth. Life was pretty good and this really was shaping up to be a perfect year… until lemons started falling from the sky.
A heartbreaking phone call. A shocking text. Then another. And another. Spring brought us a steady trickle of bad news from numerous loved ones. And when I think I’ve heard the worst, more news came within the next week.
A cancer diagnosis. Then another. And another.
Treatment decisions, second opinions, plans made and rearranged.
Unexpected and unwanted divorce. Loss of loved ones. Loss of support system.
They say everyone grieves differently, but I think many can relate to the feeling of waking up, holding your breath and wondering, what next? Are we safe today, or is more tragedy coming?
How do you carry all the lemons when they start falling out of the basket?
I haven’t cracked the crowd of living with ongoing long-term grief. I know Nehemiah tells me the joy of the Lord shall be my strength. I know James tells me to count everything is Joy when I face trials, but what does that look like in real life? What does it look like when a immense joy and immense grief coincide?
Practically speaking my first small step is to thank God for the lemons. For the opportunity to grieve and experience perfect, God-given comfort. To feel loss, a sign of love. To know trial and gain resilience. To collect experiences that increase empathy.
How fortunate are we to experience life’s lemons, so one day we are refreshed by the sweetness of heaven. And how wonderful that our Lord never expects us to carry the weight of the lemons alone.
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” — Psalm 55:22
“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” — Isaiah 41:13
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” — Matthew 11:28-29
Oh my sweet Natalie, we never know the depths of others pain! Know you are loved and prayed for always!