Ah, Thanksgiving—a holiday filled with food, family, and gratitude…unless you’re running around like an unhinged turkey girl! When a girl’s hosting Thanksgiving, how’s she supposed to enjoy the holiday?
My first fall as a newlywed, I had an idea that took “unhinged” to a new level. My husband and I decided to host a Friendsgiving for our entire church family. We’ve kept the tradition going over the years, and hosting a dinner for 50+ people has taught me a few things.
Yes, there are parts that can be hectic and overwhelming. But when it’s go time, there are a few secrets up my sleeve that make the night enjoyable.
It all boils down to this: less is more.
NOW. Anyone who’s attended one of my Friendsgivings may be gawking, because this year’s table inspiration looks like this….
And my previous menus have featured bacon-wrapped green beans and HUNDREDS of mini pies in ***three flavors***. What can I say? I’m a maximalist at heart.
However, less on Thanksgiving Day and more in the weeks and days leading up makes it possible.
In this article, I’ll share how I prep for hosting well in advance so everyone can enjoy the actual day!
Every Gal Hosting Thanksgiving Must Know This
My fellow maximalists, this is what I remind myself of every year.
My role is not to be the “perfect” hostess. And neither is yours. Your Thanksgiving does not have to look like what you see on Pinterest. And it probably won’t. And that is fine. The urge to make the perfect tablescape, serve the perfect meal, and play the perfect part? It’s too much pressure!
A good hostess understands the purpose behind her efforts. We’re aiming for a table surrounded by special people, not a standing ovation. And perfection is a poor substitute for presence.
Presence leads to connection. And connection leads to closeness.
Our role as hostesses is to provide an opportunity for connections so that we can grow closer to our loved ones. The following tips will help you facilitate connection and closeness.
Tip #1: Find Your Table Inspo Early
Ok, so we’re not trying to look perfect, but if you’re the gal who still drools for a gorgeous centerpiece, here’s my one decorating tip.
Pinterest and Instagram start pumping out inspiration before the beginning of the next season. Fall decor is already being posted in the summer. This is a big advantage for those hosting Thanksgiving.
Say it with me: It’s. not. necessary. to. buy. any. new. decor!!! But if you find joy in refreshing your look, spend the end of summer or early fall looking at Pinterest inspiration. Then, use that inspiration as your filter when you go shop.
This year, our Friendsgiving is in a completely new building, and I want it to look extra special. So over the summer, I used Pinterest to find my vision. Then my eyes had a filter for what I was looking for.
I scored some pretty sweet deals that I wouldn’t have noticed without my inspiration. Like the 60 feet of garland I found for $30! And my mother-in-law found candlesticks for me at an estate sale. And my favorite find was 17 big matching candle wreaths for $17!
Having inspiration well in advance helped me buy what I actually wanted instead of trying to make random things I grabbed on a whim look good together.
Tip #2: Plan Your Menu Earlier Than You Think You Need To
The best time to plan your Thanksgiving meal? Mid-October. Taking care of this task early frees up space in your brain before the holiday hustle!
The traditional Thanksgiving menu doesn’t change that much. Turkey, mashed potatoes, a vegetable, a bread, a dessert…
Perhaps you have traditional dishes your family returns to year after year (like our Hammitt family cranberry salad…tell me in the comments what your go-to dish is!). Or maybe you like multiple vegetable options.
The menu can be simple—especially if you’re serving a big crowd (bacon wrapped green beans are delectable, but this year, we’re committing to crock pot green beans flavored with bacon bits).
When you know your menu well in advance, you can plan backwards.
You can let guests know what to bring (or give them the chance to share a favorite dish!). Once your menu is set, check your pantry and freezer, then make your shopping list.
Many ingredients can be bought a few weeks in advance, leaving a small shopping list of perishable items.
And by the way!!! Don’t forget to consider food allergies and dietary restrictions before finalizing your menu. One of the best ways you can make sure everyone feels welcome is by making sure everyone leaves full.
Tip #3: Do as Much Food Prep as Possible Before Thanksgiving Day
Our first married Thanksgiving was just my husband and me. I spent the entire day in the kitchen. I didn’t think about prepping ahead and having some dishes ready to go. Now, I do a little work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, so that Thursday is enjoyable.
Several classic Thanksgiving dishes can be prepped multiple days in advance.
My favorite little secret: did you know mashed potatoes can be made from scratch and frozen and reheated in a crockpot? You could make your mashed potatoes a week or two before Thanksgiving day and you’ve already offloaded one item!
Green bean casserole could be prepped Tuesday evening or Wednesday. Top it with the crispy onions right before you throw it in the oven. Our family cranberry salad is made on Tuesday and finished on Wednesday.
Look over your menu and decide what you can prep on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday to make Thursday as easy as possible. And don’t forget to consider how you’ll reheat each dish on Thanksgiving Day.
Remember, every task you finish before Turkey Day is one less thing that steals your presence.
Tip #4: Prepare to Welcome the Guests
When most of your meal is prepped in advance, your focus on Thursday can be getting your home ready for guests.
Kimberly Hahn is an author who writes about the beauty of homemaking. She says this:
“I believe that as the wife and mom I have a greater opportunity than most of the other family members. Even though everyone contributes to it, mothers and wives can be the thermostat of the home, not just taking the temperature but the thermostat, which sort of sets the tone at home.”
Replace “wife” and “mom” with hostess, and the idea is the same.
A hostess sets the mood in her home. Her guests can feel the difference between frenzy and peace as they arrive.
A few things that will facilitate peace for you and your guests:
- Same as your food prep, allocate as many chores as you can to the weekend before, or Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
- Set the table in advance. A table laid with dishes communicates that your guests have been joyfully anticipated.
- Do hair and makeup early. That means choosing a simple hairstyle that will last!
- Aim to have the bulk of your food prepped and in the oven before guests arrive.
Remember, the point is not to try to look perfect. We’re focusing on less work and more connection.
Tip #5: When You’re Hosting Thanksgiving, Allow Your Guests to Feel Included in the Work
You know that game Two Truths and a Lie? See if you can spot mine…
(A) I struggle to accept help when I’m hosting. (B) I struggle to ask for help when I’m hosting. Or…(C) I’m a model example when it comes to accepting and asking for help. Meh…..
I want everyone to come, relax, and feel welcome. I want to create an experience for those I love. But as much as I think I can, I can’t do it all myself.
But that works out. Because over the years, I’ve realized that saying yes to help is one way I can value my friends.
We all love to feel valued. But when we constantly decline help, we deny our friends the opportunity to feel valued too.
This year, hosting Thanksgiving (or technically, Friendsgiving) includes saying yes to help. And I’m preparing to say yes by having stations arranged so others can easily jump in. I’ll make sure all the serving dishes are set out, or I’ll put a sticky note down where “turkey” and “green beans” go.
Build a little assembly line for those last tasks so anyone can jump right in when they feel stirred to help.
Hosting is not a one-woman show, and you don’t need to perform. You’re facilitating connection and closeness, and as my friend Nancy says, “People grow closer together when they work together.” You said it, Nancy.
Don’t Let Hosting Thanksgiving Scramble You Up
I hope these tips inspire you to do more ahead of time so you have less stress during the holidays. Let me know in the comments—which tip resonates with you the most? What will you try this year?
If you want Thanksgiving to go even smoother, you might like my Thanksgiving hosting checklist. You can get a checklist of exactly when on the calendar to implement each of these tips.
Click right here so I know you want to receive it.
And if Thanksgiving is feeling heavy this year, I’ve been there, too, sister. If you’re feeling weighed down with hardships, head to this article next. I pray it helps you pull through the hard days.
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