And just like that, another summer comes to a close. As the back-to-school season approaches, my heart floods with happy memories.
Every August, I go back to that first, freshman semester when I met Mr. Hammitt…that return to school my sophomore year, after our first long distance summer…coming back for junior year and wondering if this would be the school year we get engaged…and the beginning of senior year, counting down the days to our wedding.
Those college kids had no idea how much was in store for their future. We’ve been so fortunately blessed by our little boy, our baby girl, and of course we can’t forget Mrs. Pickles.
The difference children can make on a marriage
I thank God daily for my little family. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit, those former days were, well…easier. It was easy to pick up a Domino’s pizza, head to the student center for a movie date, and to head back to our respective dorms feeling sooooo in love.
And these days are…trickier? Trickier to find the time for uninterrupted conversation, or the energy for romance. Trickier, if I’m being totally honest, to remember daily how fortunate I am to have such a wonderful spouse who loves me and wants to make me happy.
As a stay-at-home mom, I have to fight the temptation to ignore filling my husband’s cup because I am too tired.
We have two in diapers, two who cry for mama, one who wants to have nonstop conversation about the most distinct details (like how we spent two hours last week on…cicada shells…) and one who would much rather nurse all night, because sleeping is optional, right…?
I want my marriage to be pleasing to God, and to be a Christian wife that my husband loves being married to. And if I want my husband to enjoy our marriage, then I need to be enjoyable.
Now, Mr. Hammitt is a good man, and he enjoys me just as much with baby poop on my pants and sweet potato in my hair. But hey, we all appreciate a little effort here and there, don’t we?
As I come out on what I call “the other side” of my second postpartum experience, I’ve been challenging myself to increase my romantic efforts. To consider why I fell in love with my husband in the first place, and to show him why, too.
So here’s my little list of ways I’m intentionally trying to love my husband. I’m not calling it marriage advice. Rather, these are things I’ve implemented lately that my husband responds positively to. I think they are simple enough that most—if not all—men would respond positively, too.
So get ready to get whisked back to the beginning of your love story. These are my you’re looking to refresh your romance, too, I feel fairly confident that it’s quite easy to pick at least one of these 10 items to get started with.
10 Ways Christian Wives Can Refresh the Romance
Go back to the beginning
Think about the little things you did when love was new. A put-together outfit with curled hair, showing interest in his interests, laughing at his jokes…return to these practices to remind him that his attractiveness hasn’t faded.
Verbalize your appreciation
A man feels accomplished as a husband when he knows that his family can depend on him. Thank your husband for providing and protecting.
Surprise him
In big or little ways. Find a babysitter and go out to dinner. Leave an unexpected love note on his pillow or in his lunch bag.
Remember he’s your partner, not your opponent
When he’s not doing things the way you would want, it’s likely not intentional. Rather, he’s trying to figure out how he can support you and make you happy.
Pray for him
Pray out of a desire for your husband’s spiritual growth, not just in hopes that God will change him into who you want him to be.
Offer yourself to him as a gift.
Dress beautifully for him. Give him quality time. Give him your eyes and ears wholeheartedly.
Initiate intimacy
Encourage his masculinity by showing him you find him desirable, even on the days when you’re feeling touched out by toddlers.
Make his home a place he wants to be
That means everything from putting up the football posters he loves to keeping his home clean enough to find comfort at the end of the day.
Let everyone know you love being his wife
Tell other people why you adore him, compliment him to others, share why you’re proud and appreciative of him (with taste—this is for the purpose of building him up to others, not for bragging on all you receive).
Find a reason to express gratitude to him everyday
You really can’t thank your husband frequently enough. He deserves appreciation just as much as you wish to be appreciated.
Ready for your marriage to grow closer in Christ?
Even with these subtle acts, my appreciation for my husband has deepened in the past few months. I feel closer to him even during these baby and toddler years, as long as I put in the effort to be the kind of Christian wife he deserves.
While these 10 acts of love might not be a magic formula for marriage, they can be a launching pad for growth. Consider picking at least one and asking yourself, “How would my marriage grow if I committed to giving this attention to my husband for the next month?” Tell me in the comments which you’re picking and give it a go!
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